Having choices is the ultimate freedom that empowers me. Am I making choices that are healthy? Or am I making choices to please you, hoping that your reaction will give me self worth?
Giving freely, expecting nothing in return, is true love and I experience happiness. I’m not depending on your response to give me a feeling of value.
Giving, expecting something in return, is conditioned happiness, because I’m then relying on you to make me happy – whether it be praise, recognition, a hug, a gift…the expectation is what sets me up for relying on an outside source for my happiness.
My choices are not about trying to make you happy. My choices are about me giving my love to you because I simply love you. If my act puts a smile on your face, lets you experience gratitude, that’s all wonderful, but I’m not taking credit for anything. I’m just happy to be loving you. This is when I feel our spirits connect – when we’re free of the other’s expectations. This is when I feel most intimate with you.