Over the years I’ve learned that I can’t make other people happy. They have to find their own source of happiness. When I was a little girl, I’d listen to my parents and their friends gather and brag about their children, as if we were their prized possessions. If I did well, I received loads of praise and love, but if I didn’t end up in first place, I was shamed, “Why couldn’t you be more like Susan? She practices 4 or 5 hours a day!” I felt responsible for my parents’ happiness. If I did well, they were happy. If I didn’t, they were ashamed.
As I’m learning to find my own self worth that is independent of pleasing anyone else, I’m realizing there’s a fine, but very distinct line between doing something for someone from my heart, and doing something for someone from my head.
When I give of myself, from my heart – simply because I am filled with joy when I give, I expect no recognition whatsoever. I like imagining the smile that I put on someone’s face.
When I give of myself from the ego I expect something in return – whether it be praise, appreciation or love. I sit there waiting to be acknowledged, and if I’m not recognized for my work or gifts, I feel resentment, anger, or discontent.
Giving pure simple love, wants nothing in return.
The words on my tea bag yesterday read, “The person who gives love is happy.”