putting a smile on someone’s face is different from being the source of someone’s happiness

Over the years I’ve learned that I can’t make other people happy.  They have to find their own source of happiness. When I was a little girl, I’d listen to my parents and their friends gather and brag about their children, as if we were their prized possessions.  If I did well, I received loads of praise and love, but if I didn’t end up in first place, I was shamed, “Why couldn’t you be more like Susan?  She practices 4 or 5 hours a day!”  I felt responsible for my parents’ happiness.  If I did well, they were happy.  If I didn’t, they were ashamed.

As I’m learning to find my own self worth that is independent of pleasing anyone else, I’m realizing there’s a fine, but very distinct line between doing something for someone from my heart, and doing something for someone from my head.

When I give of myself, from my heart – simply because I am filled with joy when I give, I expect no recognition whatsoever.  I like imagining the smile that I put on someone’s face.

When I give of myself from the ego I expect something in return – whether it be praise, appreciation or love.  I sit there waiting to be acknowledged, and if I’m not recognized for my work or gifts, I feel resentment, anger, or discontent.

Giving pure simple love, wants nothing in return.

The words on my tea bag yesterday read,  “The person who gives love is happy.”

 

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