one of my dad’s favorite things to brag about is how he and my mom have been married for 64 years and that he has four children and they’re all married and no one is divorced! oh boy, he’s going to kill me when he finds out i left my marriage of 34 years!
i left my marriage in january, and three months later i finally found the nerve to tell them. of course i had lots of excuses – my dad’s cancer, my mom’s seizure, me not having a place to live, me leaving to help with the care of my grandchild – there just never seemed to be a good time to tell them. underlying all these obstacles was the truth – i was afraid of their reaction, especially my dad’s. i was afraid of the disappointment, i was afraid of the feeling of being a failure.
i was sitting next to my mom who was trying to paint. she was just so happy to be out of the hospital sitting with the freedom of being able to pick out what color she would like to paint the flower, happy to be sitting there with no pain, no tubes, no monitors. my dad was sitting nearby playing his harmonica. there was the sound of peace in the room.
it’s not like i decided to tell them and planned it. it just happened. the words started flowing from my mouth… and believe or not, my parents didn’t yell, they just listened. in fact they didn’t get mad at all. they understood and had compassion. i felt total acceptance, no judgement whatsoever, just simple, pure love.