i can’t tell you how many dear generous friends have offered me a roof over my head while i sort out my life. to experience that kind of love is powerful and fills me with such appreciation for their kindness and desire to be there for me during a time when it’s easy for me to feel selfish. i truly believe that my decision to leave our marriage of nearly 34 years is going to be better for both of us. our marriage had become unhealthy, and i found my world getting smaller and smaller, and limiting in its possibilities.
i’m at that time in my life where i feel i need to grow and learn self love and compassion, and what it’s like to be ‘manette’, not the caregiver, not the dutiful wife, but simply ‘me, in abundant creation of who i want to be’. i have to trust that he will learn to find his own happiness within, that he will find his journey. we will continue to be involved with family, but i won’t be there to care for him daily. i’m determined to live on my own, free of nurturing, free of the need to care for another, free to be me.
as part of my journey, i’ve been practicing simple living. i’ve moved into a small rv, a little bigger than a parking space. there’s a bed, a sink, a fridge, a microwave and a tiny bathroom. basically, it has everything i need, and how lucky is that? i even have solar powered energy that recharges my phone and computer at night.
i’ve learned that i really don’t need a lot, in fact the less i have, the better. i don’t need multiple pairs of shoes, nor do i need gobs of pants. since my space is small, i have to be mindful of what i bring into the van. i have a variety of scarves that i change each day, just so my outfits look different, but my basic is a pair of pants, a plain top and a scarf.
my essentials include my toothbrush, coconut oil – which is my face cream and body lotion, baking soda – my body scrub, toothpaste and cleanser, and vegetables, nuts and seeds to eat.
i read about pod living, where people can’t afford big homes anymore. essentially the space is the size of my rv. i suppose if you’re single, and trying to make it on your own, living in a small space makes a ton of sense. we’ve been spoiled by all the extra rooms that a house provides. living in a small space awakens me to the expansive outdoors that awaits me once i step outside. it’s a remarkable feeling, filled with gratitude and awe.
i’ll venture out further to explore more exciting places in california, that i’ve yet to see, as soon as my father’s cancer is under control, but for now, the practice of simple living helps keep my mind at peace, and my heart in tune with the important things in life.