an important part of my growth has been that of self-compassion – a very important component of self-love and self-honesty is the acknowledgment that, ‘i’m suffering too.’ so often i want to deny this feeling, and cover it up by constantly doing good things for others, filling me with the false belief that others are hurting more than i, and that i can help them, and when i help them, then i’m an angel, and angels don’t hurt.
when i pause, and listen to my heart, and hear the truth, i hear that i, too, have been in pain, that i, too, have been suffering. i can fool myself into believing that i’m okay, and that i don’t need help.
rarely taking time to love myself, i pause in nature, in the silence of the desert, and i can listen. and i can hear to the whisper in my heart, and honor my pain.
it’s pain that i acknowledge, and then release and when i do let the pain be real, and i release it, i feel that joy, the joy that i deserve.
i can go about my life thinking that i can do it all, that everyone else’s woes are greater than mine. OR i can pause and give myself a hug, listen to my pain, and say, i have it within me to do something good for myself. i can have self-compassion, and love myself enough to do something that i know is good for me.
i have a choice.
and i choose to be loving and kind to myself. living a life of a martyr or an angel is not healthy. i choose to look within, acknowledge my weaknesses, defects and imperfections, and see the courage to change, the power of the truth, and the strength to take action.
If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches & pains,
If you can resist complaining & boring people with your troubles,
If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
If you can overlook when people take things out on you when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,
If you can take criticism & blame without resentment,
If you can face the world without lies & deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs…
Then you are probably a dog.
-Unknown (via Tara Brach)