as my father struggles with the news that he has lung cancer, i hear his fear, and i remain grateful for the early detection. staying positive will make such a difference in his body’s response to the radiation treatment. and he’ll be so much easier to be around.
if he says negative things, i listen and hear his fear. i feel compassion. i don’t take his words or his attitude personally, instead i know that i’m not responsible for his happiness no matter how closely connected i am to him and his situation; i stay present, and stand firm in my commitment to take care of myself and to love myself, even though he may be mistreating me and others. i can give him space to release his fears. i can draw a clear boundary if his fear grows and i can let him know that i have a choice to be around or not.
staying positive requires that i think of the light that we each shine. no one can dim anyone else’s light. shining my light requires that i come from my heart, and not my head. there is no need to defend, or to prove that i’m right. my light dims if i choose to feel like a martyr, or a victim, if i choose to feel guilt or hurt.
i simply have to listen, love and understand, connect and try my best to relate to his light, as faint as that light may be at times.