My dad loves to do whatever is opposite of what he’s supposed to do. If you want him hurry, tell him to take his time. If you want him to not watch television, tell to turn it on. He likes to have control of the situation and he does not like to be told what to do. After his bone marrow biopsy his doctor told him he was not to lift or move anything, only sit and lie down. So the 89-year-old Asian man who has never ironed an article of clothing in his life, decides to set up the ironing board and iron a pair of pants!
when life tells him that his wife is sick and that he has cancer, he’s going to do whatever he can to keep it from being reality. He’s going to deny that it’s happening.
He’ll blame the doctors for not knowing what they re doing, he’ll pretend he’s feeling fine, he’ll get angry at innocent, loving caregivers just to vent some of his fears. But he will refuse to give into the truth.
Living in denial increases the fear and creates a feeling of unmanageability that causes him to be irritable and unpleasant to be around.
Living in acceptance of what is and taking actions that help him deal with reality allows him to live with the truth and to have the faith that if he can remain positive, he will feel the love that surrounds him.
He can be in fear and miss all the love, or he can be in faith and notice all the beauty and love that is there right before him. He has the choice.
question is, will he pause to appreciate the love that surrounds him? and if he does, i bet he’ll turn things around long enough to let go of trying to control things to be the way he wants them to be, and to see that in facing reality, accepting the truth, there’s so much positive in life to embrace.
the man can drive me crazy, but i just can’t help but love him when i pause to understand his fears.