what happens when you become a grandma?
the world keeps spinning, and things keep happening, but there is no awareness on your part that anything matters other than this new little creature who is opening his eyes and ears, and all his senses, to his new world.
no christmas cards make it to the postal office.
phone calls go unanswered.
all you want to do is change odin’s diapers, hold and coddle him, and make sure your daughter gets her much needed rest.
the world shrinks to that of the family, and only the immediate family.
and then you receive news from your extended family that shakes you awake and makes you open your eyes, your soul and your heart, and to remember that life goes on even while you’re in your little world of odin. i may be on opposite coasts from my parents right now, but i trust that my siblings are there for them and are giving them the love and attention i would if i could.
as my parents age, i want to be there for them, but i can’t always be. i have a life outside of caring for them. and i have to trust that they are in good hands.
i remind myself, if ever i’m in a position where where my ailments require ongoing medical attention, i would never want my children’s lives to be put on hold. i would never want my children to become my caregivers. i would want them to have a full and beautiful life. in raising children who are loving, independent and productive, i trust that they will be sending me their love in ways that i will always appreciate, but that i would never want them to give up living fulfilled lives to tend to my declining health.
i remind myself that the cycle of life is just that – a cycle of ends and beginnings that feed each another through a beautiful process of shared hearts that generate the purest of all gifts – love.