my father’s afraid. he’s afraid to live without my mom. and when he’s in fear, he can be nasty. he can say things he doesn’t mean, and he can be very controlling.
he can yell. tell you that you don’t know what you’re doing. put you down and make you feel small.
he can say things that make you want to leave the room and never come back.
i can take it personally, or i can see that he’s afraid. i can be angry back at him, or i can be a victim and cry, or i can have compassion and see that he’s mad at the world, and not at me.
when i give him space to vent, to be angry at the way things are regressing, my heart opens and i can feel his pain. we connect, and relate.
i can hold him and tell him mommy has parkinson’s, and that we’re trying our best to keep mommy from being in pain.
i can give him the love he thinks he’s no longer going to have.