looking within to find my happiness, awakens in me the awareness that i can choose to make every moment precious

living with someone who struggles with bipolar can be challenging. there are days when he just needs to be left alone. i practice a lot of ‘not taking it personally’ but it’s hard when i’m the only person around and his discontent with the world is in every corner of the home.

there are plenty of things for me to do. i take long walks, visit with friends, drive to visit my parents, play golf, meditate, help someone in need… these are just a few of the many things that nourish my heart and keep me living joyfully.

i try and give him space, and allow his mood to be his and not mine.

yes, there are days when i feel alone, i must admit that.  i would love to have a partner who gets up early with me, and finds joy in exploring the world.  but right now, he’s not available to do that with me, and he may never be.

so i practice acceptance – not wishing him to be anything but who he is, a precious lost soul, struggling with self worth and purpose – and i look within to find my own happiness.

when i open my heart to the universe, and step into the flow and not fight or try and control things to be what i want them to be, i find the harmony and serenity that i so cherish.

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