i took tai to the airport last night, the last of our children to depart. funny how we raised them to be independent and productive, loving and kind, to spread their wings and explore the world, yet every single time they leave, my heart longs to keep them near. i do know they love what they do, and i know they are committed to creating change, but i also realize after a weekend of sharing them with others just how much i miss the times when it’s just our little family.
riki planned her wedding around the ‘teacher schedule’, knowing that they would have columbus day off, since all three of her siblings have chosen to work with children in under-resourced schools in different parts of the country. of all our children, riki is the one i would have predicted to become a teacher – patient, creative, funny, loves children.
life is full of surprises. and isn’t that beautiful? you just never know what’s going to happen. if you let go, and stop trying to control others, and simply allow life and people to unfold without your ego’s judgement and desires, you find pure joy in your relationships.
ren talked about sibling love in her maid of honor speech. how she and riki have opposite personalities (ren loves theater and the arts, riki sports and health), yet they love each other so much. how it’s unlikely they would have ever become friends had they not been sisters. over the years, riki now loves movies almost as much as ren does, and ren just texted me that she beat me in fantasy football this week.
when we’re open to change and possibility, we realize that we’re not yet formed, that we are still in creation, that life is an adventure, full of the ups and the downs.
as i remain open to the idea that i have choices in how i respond to the world, i can be whomever i choose to be. if my heart is my compass, if i love what i am doing, if my intentions are kind and loving, then i allow myself to see that i don’t yet know who i am, and that’s ok.
the feeling of being lost, the feeling of being less than, is my ego judging, my ego wanting more, my ego telling me that at age 60 i should have accomplished more.
when i let go of my ego, step into the flow, and remain open to growing and learning, there is only gratitude for what is at this very moment – i experience a complete and overwhelming love that i realize are my many blessings and my connection to the universe, nature and God.