we’re down to days before the wedding. and still so many details to tend to. riki and i are working on the tables, which is almost as hard as working on the guest list. weddings these days are so different.
i don’t know if it’s because i’m chinese, but at our wedding, over 33 years ago, most of our guests were my parents’ friends, people i didn’t even know. the party was a celebration for my parents and their friends. now it’s reversed. now it’s a celebration for the married couple and their friends, and a handful of mine. i think it’s fair to say, i won’t know most of the people at my own daughter’s wedding. but isn’t it cool that weddings are about the union of two families and their friends, and not about me and what i want?
scott is an only child, and because of this, the friends he’s made over the years are like brothers to him. and because his parents have this one wedding to celebrate, they had a lot of their friends who they wanted to be there. and so the numbers grew as the family expands and i look forward to getting to know everyone who is important to riki and scott.
when i focus on the joy and fun, and not on the friends i won’t see and will miss, or feelings that i may have hurt, i experience a sense of the moment; the past memories i share and the new ones we’ll be creating become a part of the complete experience of the expanding family.
as the day approaches i’m focussing on the fun, the gratitude and the celebration of family and love. i can’t wait to be with our kids as our family expands.