34 years! happy anniversary! brian and i have been together over 41 years when you add in the years we had to date before working out all the kinks. and the beautiful thing is that we’re still working out the many differences, and there are a ton.
i’d be lying if i said it’s been 34 years of total bliss, because it hasn’t been all perfect. there have been rough patches along the way, that’s for sure. but what we’ve discovered is a willingness to grow from those rough times. if we see that we all make mistakes, and if we’re willing to forgive and learn, there’s a real good chance we’re going to deepen our connection, that i’m going to learn something about him that i didn’t know before, and he’s going to learn something about me.
if we accept the given, that we are each constantly changing, and we stop the expectations and be open to the mysteries, life is filled with the lessons, the humor, the joy and the emotions that accompany the opening of the heart.
when i stopped trying to change him to be the way i wanted him to be (aka i wish he could be more like me!), and not only accepted him just the way he was, but to actually love all those differences, including his perspective on the world that had been formed from his many past experiences, i found myself falling in love with him every day, again and again.
maybe we all grew up having watched too many disney movies. maybe that line “and they lived happily ever after” was so engrained in our brains, that we thought relationships had to be happy all the time. it’s actually in letting go of the expectation that the relationship be perfect that we find that happiness.
“love doesn’t mean finding the perfect person, it means finding the imperfect person perfect.”