what happens when things don’t work out the way you had envisioned? i spent all day saturday with my parents and yesterday i was looking forward to spending the day with brian. and then i get the call. one of our caregivers has flaked.
i have to be honest. i was not happy. i wanted to fire that caregiver.
after i vented and cried. i went to a place of acceptance and gratitude.
there wasn’t anything i could do after exhausting the list of caregivers. so i made my way up to my parent’s place. made some phone calls, while i battled traffic, and arrived with a smile on my face. i get to spend another beautiful day with my parents, yes!
when i walked into the bathroom, my mom was having a rough moment. i can’t say a rough day because her comfort level changes moment to moment. she’ll be fine, and then suddenly the cramps will start up and she’ll be in pain. it’s moments like these that i remember the days when our children were infants, when they would be so dependent on me and i had to be so in tune to their needs. my mom is very much that infant now.
she doesn’t have the words to tell me what’s wrong. she makes this horrible face where her eyes squeeze shut and her mouth opens in a silent scream. and i know she’s in deep pain. i try and pick her up, but she’s stiff yet crumpled, and i don’t know if the massaging i’m doing is helping at all. and i just want to cry with her.
after about an hour of this, it goes away. just when i want to give up, it finally subsides.
i fed her dinner and then convinced them to get out of their apartment and take a walk. we ran into a couple of their favorite friends in the living room. my dad ended up playing his harmonica.
the simple joy on their faces as they recognized the songs, just made my day! as you get old, it doesn’t take a lot to make you smile.