There are at least three sides to a situation

My dad is in place of fear. He doesn’t want to lose his wife. With Shirley passing, he doesn’t trust the doctors.

“Daddy, she was 99 years old. Shirley had a good life.”

“there was nothing wrong with her! They gave her morphine and then she died! She was sitting right there just the other day. She should still be here…Mommy needs a new doctor.”

that’s my dad. His thinking is what Brian calls ‘illogical’…my dad now thinks my mom’s medications are all wrong. I like to enjoy being with her while she’s here, doing the best she can, and I choose to trust the doctors. my dad chooses to focus on the fear that she’s going to die just like Shirley and that it’ll be because the doctor gave her too much medicine. “we need to stop her from dying, so let’s take her off her meds and change doctors.”

You have to meet my dad. He’s precious.

He has his perspective, I have mine, and then there’s reality. The truth.  My mom’s condition is worse. Everyday is a battle for her. And the truth is the doctors don’t really know what they’re doing. Parkinson’s is a mystery.

3 thoughts on “There are at least three sides to a situation

  1. beautifully put. at the end of the day, everyone has their own beliefs, fears, thoughts…and denials. All of these can be magnified, triggered, forgotten and placed in panic mode when someone you love is dying. EVEN if you believe we are all eternal. EVEN if you believe that you’ll see each other again some day. We love who we love. We know we’ll miss who we’ll miss. And that’s terrifying. There have been four deaths within my family and friends within less than four weeks…and I’ve seen this over and over again. to love deeply and let someone in, requires the major risk of missing them so deeply one day that your life, and your sense of self, might become unrecognizable when they’re gone. That’s probably what he fears the most. So, it’s easier to think she’s not that sick. No way she can hurt him this badly and leave him so soon. You know? That’s what I hear. The most beautiful and bittersweet part of life, are the moments when you realize just how deeply you love someone, and you have to let them go.

    Liked by 1 person

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