brian loves to reload the dishwasher. he rearranges it so all the bowls are together, and all the plates, like goes with like….he’s logical, organized, practical. i, on the other hand, am pretty much the opposite. it’s just not a big deal to me since i’m going to be unloading it shortly, and i think to myself i can organize them when i’m putting them on their respective spots on the shelves.
i used to take his need to rearrange personally. ‘oh, so he doesn’t like the way i load the dishwasher,’ i would say to myself. what i realized over the years is that he may not be thinking that at all. this desire of his -to have the dirty dishes in order- may just be his way of doing things vs. my way. neither is right or wrong. they simply are two different ways of doing the same thing.
our two different ways of loading the dishwasher is a direct reflection of the way we like our daily lives. and i also see that each method reflects the way each of us was raised. my family was all about speed and creativity. his family was all about control and order.
as i let go of feeling judged, i stop making assumptions and i stop taking things personally. instead i focus on how much easier it is to unload the dishes when they’re organized, and i practice changing the way i load by being more mindful of where i place the dishes. i’m changing not because someone is telling me to, i’m changing because i want to learn a different way, i want to see that my past doesn’t have to define me.