there is no comparing, there is no prioritizing, and one being more important than the other in love. with love it’s in the knowing coming from inside and it grows without conditions, it grows with understanding and total complete acceptance.
i speak from experience, as i’m surrounded daily in pure and simple love. the love i have for our four children and my husband, my parents, siblings, friends, the love just grows and spreads and is infectious. the love they have for me is the same. it just fills every possible space, every part of my being, the way light sneaks under a door, or the sun’s rays filter through a seemingly opaque set of curtains, or through a thick, cumulus cloud.
love cannot be stopped. but it does have to be mutual for it to grow. for love to grow there are no making assumptions, it’s total acceptance. once there is judgement about how the other is expressing their love – ‘that’s not what i wanted to hear’, or ‘he was late’, or ‘he probably wanted to be with somebody else, but they weren’t available so he chose me’ – it has trouble growing. getting into the head about love is a dangerous place because we want to interpret and guess what the other’s intentions are; pure love that comes from the heart doesn’t judge or compare, it just holds you, warms you, makes you laugh, or cry, touches you and fills you.
it’s in the detail in the heart that love expands. it connects and relates. if i focus on the things i want from idealized love of the head, the hallmark kind of love – flowers, cards, gifts, even time – we want love to be defined, when really love can’t be explained. love exists the way the sun exists. love is timeless and borderless. there is no counting minutes in love, every second is precious and appreciated. love is freeing, not demanding.
love touches you in the tiniest moments in the biggest ways.
love is the way our 25 year old son chih shared with me yesterday as we were driving by a corner flower shop how he always remembers that building, and how i was with him as he was trying to sound out the word b-a-l-l-o-o-n-s 20 years ago. the word was plastered on their wall, and his memory was so vivid. it was the first time reading made sense to him. and that all those times i had spent with him sounding out words, suddenly clicked.
now that’s love. it filled me and warmed me and brought me to tears.