we were invited to golf with some friends at this sweet ocean front 9 hole course not too far from our house. i love the game of golf. i don’t play often, because it’s expensive and it does take time, but brian knows how much i love it. the night before he shared with me how much he didn’t want to go, how much of a struggle it was going to be. it was beautiful that he could share his fear.
i’ve learned to have no expectations, to listen and to have a plan B. the fact that he was able to talk about his anxiety is huge. in the past, he would have held it in, the fear would have grown to huge proportions, and he most likely would have isolated and disappeared in shame.
as he makes progress with his bipolar depression, he and i both are learning so much about each other, life, patience and the importance of opening our hearts.
fears reside in our heads, and as we face those fears, talk about them, and let go of them, we find we can detach from those thoughts. it’s when we detach from them, that we begin to listen to our hearts. it’s through our hearts we experience pure emotion.
it’s almost as if in releasing the fear, our hearts open, and it’s in the opening that we are able to connect. imagine having a closed heart, a heart that never shares emotions with anyone. as this heart holds in emotions, it hardens like a wall, and it becomes harder and harder for it to open and connect with others.
brian woke with an aching back, but he plowed through it and was able to make it in the end. and it was such a beautiful time shared with friends.