brian’s best friend from childhood came to visit for the weekend. he lives in virginia with his two daughters and is beginning a new chapter in his life, as his wife of nearly 30 years has decided to leave him.
it’s been beautiful listening to the two reconnect. kris was brian’s best man in our wedding, but we moved to california, and the two lost touch. we would exchange christmas cards, but the two rarely found themselves talking or sharing their lives.
“its the weirdest thing, you’re the same guy i knew growing up, and yet you’re not,” brian shared with kris last night. he has the same beautiful laugh, and the same deep eyes, but he’d gone through some disappointments, betrayal, and loss. the two of them had been through struggles, but neither had called each other to ask for help, or to open up and share their pains.
they listened to some of their old music, some new, they finally shared some of the toughest stuff that each has been through over the years. it easy to talk about children, the houses, the good memories, the stories we share in christmas cards. but it’s not so easy to talk about the other stuff. the fear. the real stuff. the stuff that requires one to pause and break open and listen. the stuff that makes you cry. the stuff that’s painful. the stuff that truly connects us. the substance of life.
when it was time to say good-bye to kris, i could tell they weren’t going to lose touch this time. sometimes when we hold in our secrets, it keeps us from truly relating.
there comes a day when we realize that we’re not alone. that we all deal with tough stuff. it’s okay to open, it’s okay to cry. it’s okay to start living freely.