i remember being pregnant with our second child, riki, wondering how in the world i was going to love her as much as i love ren? i was so in love with our first, there just couldn’t be room in my heart to love another.
there is always room for more love.
love expands, grows from one moment, to another, one gesture to another, one person to another. there is no end. love is not finite, it has no walls, nothing can stop love from spreading.
riki arrived into this world such a different child from ren. so beautiful, tiny and precious.
when i see that each has her own journey, her own natural gifts, and that it’s not up to me to tell her who she has to be, but that i am simply in awe, there is no need to compare. there is no loving one more than the other; it’s loving each of them as they are.
i remember ren asking me, ‘who do you love more?’; at the time, i remembered i used to ask my mother that same question, and i remember my mom whispering to me that she loved me the most, but not to tell anyone. i always wondered if she told my sisters the same thing. and for years my sister and i never got along.
there is no loving any one more than another,
and it’s not that i love them the same either.
i love each of them as they are, and my love for each is beyond anything measurable.
love fills me, connects us, fills me, connects us, fills me, connects us again and again and again; there is no end, just the universe and all its expanse.