it’s important that i set healthy boundaries because there are people in my life who have no boundaries.
i have to learn that the source of true happiness comes from within; when i surround myself with people who are looking for happiness on the outside, i’m going to be the one who thinks i can fix things, and make them happy.
it’s not up to me to make anyone feel happy, and no one is going to make me feel guilty.
nobody makes the other person feel anything. i am fully responsible for my own feelings.
when i take ownership of my own feelings being determined by none other than myself, i practice saying ‘i feel _____when you _____’ instead of ‘you make me feel_____when you _____’. when i practice detaching from the idea that someone is making me feel anything, then it’s easier for me to see that i don’t have to let my emotions control me.
i choose not to be an emotional drunk, hooked on my emotions. i used to say, ‘i can’t help feeling guilty. that’s who i am. you make me feel bad when i can’t help.’ or ‘i can only be happy if you’re happy.’ when actually i can pause. and choose not to take things personally, and i can choose not to experience guilt; i can choose to be responsible for my emotions, and not controlled by them.
when people with no boundaries keep asking me for this or that in order to prove that i’m a friend, or prove that i love them, i can set a boundary and know that no one is going to make me feel guilty, if i say ‘no’. i make that choice, and instead of choosing ‘guilty’, i choose to be loving, healthy, and free.