i’m convinced that there was a part of my brain that was used to drama. that somehow a day without drama seemed dull. things have changed for the better now. my usual day is about peace, but there was definitely a period in my life where it was all about the drama, conflict, and discontent.
when and how did things change? i’m not sure, but i think it has a lot to do with not focusing on all the things that were wrong (in my own head). i think it has to do with seeing the positive in things. because when i watch my dad and all that is going on in his life, the drama is what brings him to that ugly place, or is it the ugly place that brings in the drama? he can worry about death, or he can create moments of fun and joyful living.
if i worry about what could happen, or what other people must be thinking, that’s when i experience drama. if i stay in faith, and accept things as they are, not the way i want them to be, i experience peace.
i can observe the drama, listen, and have compassion, but i don’t have to jump into the drama. i can detach from it.
my daughter, ren, devised a tool that i use everyday now. i call it the “too much information gauge”.
when i would get caught up in the drama of all the excuses and lies that my husband would use when he was going through some very tough times -if he told us stuff that we didn’t need to know to explain why he couldn’t be there, or why he was late, etc. she would simply say, “too much information”…over time, i learned to use this tool to make my decisions and not to jump into the drama.
jumping into the drama would confuse my decisions, staying out of the drama, would provide clarity and peace.
now i just give the person some space to live out his drama, accept him as the beautiful person he is, and pass no judgement. instead of judging, i simply have love, compassion and understanding. i listen, face and release any fears, breathe, and center myself.
with this simple shift in perspective, i can stay out of the drama, and in the heart.