drama in the head

i’m convinced that there was a part of my brain that was used to drama. that somehow a day without drama seemed dull.  things have changed for the better now. my usual day is about peace, but there was definitely a period in my life where it was all about the drama, conflict, and discontent.

when and how did things change? i’m not sure, but i think it has a lot to do with not focusing on all the things that were wrong (in my own head).  i think it has to do with seeing the positive in things.  because when i watch my dad and all that is going on in his life, the drama is what brings him to that ugly place, or is it the ugly place that brings in the drama? he can worry about death, or he can create moments of fun and joyful living.

if i worry about what could happen, or what other people must be thinking, that’s when i experience drama. if i stay in faith, and accept things as they are, not the way i want them to be, i experience peace.

i can observe the drama, listen, and have compassion, but i don’t have to jump into the drama.  i can detach from it.

my daughter, ren, devised a tool that i use everyday now.  i call it the “too much information gauge”.

when i would get caught up in the drama of all the excuses and lies that my husband would use when he was going through some very tough times -if he told us stuff that we didn’t need to know to explain why he couldn’t be there, or why he was late, etc. she would simply say, “too much information”…over time, i learned to use this tool to make my decisions and not to jump into the drama.

jumping into the drama would confuse my decisions, staying out of the drama, would provide clarity and peace.

now i just give the person some space to live out his drama, accept him as the beautiful person he is, and pass no judgement. instead of judging, i simply have love, compassion and understanding.  i listen, face and release any fears, breathe, and center myself.

with this simple shift in perspective, i can stay out of the drama, and in the heart.

One thought on “drama in the head

  1. I love this Manette! You are talking about Moksha, conscious communication. I just did a 30 minute meditation on this with David Ji…he advises everyone to reach for a soda when drama occurs or someone is pushing our buttons. SODA: Stop. Observe. Detach. Live in Awareness. Then speak from observation/pure facts and not from emotionally-charged words then find a solution to introduce from a place of love. So, say: ‘Dishes are in the sink. I’m too tired to do them today after work. Can we agree to take turns? I’ll do them odd days, you do them on even days?’ Not, ‘Why don’t you ever do the dishes? You’re so inconsiderate? You keep breaking your promises. You said you would, but like every promise, I can’t depend on you. Do you not care about me?’ … This leaves no room for a solution and puts one person in the dog house and the other in victim status. And the victim will usually do the dishes, putting herself in martyr status and resentment and nothing loving occurs…But the other convo allows for one person to call the other out without drama and suggest a solution without dragging up other resentments. It stops the cycle. Pretty cool stuff. LOVE you M to the moon & back! xoxo

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