i’m learning a ton watching my parents as they deal with the struggles of aging. i realize that my mom isn’t going to die from parkinson’s, she’ll eventually die with parkinsons – two very different things. parkinson’s isn’t going to kill her, but the effects of parkinsons – like her falls, and the results of the falls – are what will take her down. as i spend time with her, in acceptance of her condition, i know i’m not going to be able to fix her symptoms, but i can make her days brighter as best i can, and i can also have a life of my own and take care of myself.
my dad’s refusal to leave her side, and the anxiety and stress that it’s causing him, tells me a lot about love, and the power of commitment and a desire to be with the person you love, regardless of what you’re getting in return. but he’s holding on so tight, not wanting to lose her, that i can see the negative effects of fear becoming his reality. his poor heart is hurting, and we’re making trips to the cardiologist. he’ll be having an angiogram on wednesday. and i’m teaching him to meditate.
as i travel on this path with them, i can’t lose sight of my own path, and the importance of taking care of myself. i know that as i let go, things unfold as they will, and my presence isn’t going to make them live longer.
my presence with them is about simply about enjoying the moments, and finding peace with them.
as i let go, and let it be, miracles unfold. i just have to be open to seeing the miracles.