i can’t imagine choosing not to talk to my sister because we didn’t see things the same way. but that’s where my mom is. she refuses to talk to her sister. 9 years ago they had a fight and they haven’t spoken to each other since. you don’t want to know the details because that makes it even sadder. but it was over the sale of a used car…the disagreement was over money. and the more she sits in anger at her sister, the worse her health becomes. she struggles with parkinsons and is losing her ability to talk and walk. she refuses to contemplate forgiveness …
it’s crazy how our egos are so incredibly strong. and so often it’s our egos that are attached to money, power or being right. when we can lead with the heart and allow forgiveness into our lives, everything feels better…we can move on, we don’t have to sit in a place of suffering where our inner voice rules.
its when my mind, body and soul are in harmony that i experience peace. and peace is having no resistance to the way your ego wants things to be. so if i start to hear that voice inside me “he should do this, well, he needs to change … if only…he has to apologize first…”, i know my heart is not involved. because the heart doesn’t judge. the heart only wants to relate and connect.
feelings are emotions that are related to past experiences. i used to think i was simply being in touch with my feelings when i would cry every time i heard brian raise his voice. but those feelings were related to the fear that i experienced when my father would yell – i came to identify those moments as me -my feelings, and that i was entitled to those feelings. the ego remembers and wants to defend herself, and will always go to a place of resentment and anger because she’s fed with fear.
the basic emotion we experience through the heart is not associated with all that stuff in the head, which is where our feelings originate and are stored. coming from the heart…the emotion of love and acceptance lie, and the memory of the heart is gratitude.
feelings are simply the emotion associated with the ego’s experience. emotions are raw and uncomplicated, and not tainted with past events.
“the memory of the heart is gratitude” – a French proverb