accepting that i am different, i found abundance in creating me

living in a place of trying to fit in, trying to please, trying to seek approval…trying…it’s no wonder i was always in a state of conflict with a sense of being less than.

i was so busy thinking of myself as a puzzle piece with hard edges, clearly defined, rigid and stuck.  stuck looking for the one place where i was going to fit. and because you, too, had hard edges too, i couldn’t get close to you, although i kept trying.  i would experience life as an ongoing conflict in my head with me trying to find a way to get my notches to fit your knobs, and my edges knocking into your hard edges.  i would keep trying the same thing, over and over again, and each time my ego’s edge would meet your ego’s edge. we would step back for a moment, and then start the same dance again, trying to make that puzzle piece fit – you trying to change me, and me trying to change you.

living now in a place of total acceptance of what is – and that is that i am different. realizing this at first wasn’t easy.  i wanted so much to be like you.  i wanted your big eyes, your light hair and your sense of humor.  then i realized that you, too, are different.  that we’re all different.  and instead of ‘trying to fit’,  i ‘accepted and let it be’ and i found peace.  i found peace to be me.  and i stopped trying to be anybody but me, and started loving me as i am in constant creation.

life changed when i stopped trying to fit.  i stopped trying, and just ‘let it be’ (as in the beatle’s song) i’m no longer a puzzle piece with hard edges, i’m more like air or water that is soft and can be anywhere and everywhere.

life is no longer about fitting in, or finding the one person who is going to fit with me; life is about creating, changing and experiencing abundance in what is.

“if you’re always busy trying to be normal then you’ll never know how amazing you can be” – maya angelou

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