i used to live thinking that life was happening to me – that somehow when i wasn’t feeling so great, i was the victim, and i could easily go into a place of blame, or ‘why is this happening to me?’ i would allow my brain and the words in my head to rule the way i would experience every moment. i was constantly judging others, and as a result i thought others were judging me. i was always in a state of comparison or conflict. i was juggling not only the thoughts that were in my head, i was also busy trying to figure out all the thoughts of others’ too. and when i didn’t have access to other people’s thoughts, all those thoughts that i was creating in my head became my false reality.
here’s a silly example, so my husband says, “where are my glasses?” and my first thought is, “why are you asking me? are you suggesting that i put them somewhere? how should i know?” why does my head do that when he was simply asking if i knew where his glasses are? because the head wants to defend – it wants to be right. if i’m coming from my heart, and not my head, then his simple request is heard as “have you seen my glasses?” and i know that we’re just connecting and relating. i can simply say, “i don’t know” and i don’t have to go to a place of blame, where my ego wants to go.
living through the heart is much simpler because there are no thoughts, just the presence of loving kindness and peace. there are no judgements or comparisons. if every act i take is loving and kind, then i don’t need to defend anything, and i don’t find myself wanting to change other people to suit my desires. instead of life happening to me, i experience the act of creating life itself, as god intended, simply love and kindness and gratitude for what is.
“my religion is very simple. my religion is kindness.” – dalai lama