having been raised a people pleaser, it wasn’t easy for me to find my true self.
when i did, i felt this freedom that comes from a total transformation. i no longer experience guilt, shame, resentment or discontent. i give from the heart. in giving from the heart i don’t expect anything in return. it’s a very freeing love.
it’s kind of like this. i think i was so focused on what others thought of me, that i couldn’t truly experience life independent of going into someone else’s head. living that way, i found myself in constant judgement of others, and the fear that they were in constant judgement of me.
living through the heart, my same actions have a different meaning. so my intent on cooking a good meal for someone i love is not to get the praise, but is in the actual act of cooking. every thoughtful act that i perform because i know i will be appreciated is not to get the reward (which is in my head), it’s about the feeling i get in my heart that is related to giving. i’ve listened to couples who keep score – ‘that’s a point for me’ or ‘he owes me’.
in living through the heart, there is no keeping score. it’s all about relating. it’s about giving for simple love, not complicated love.
if i do something from my heart, there are no expectations to be acknowledged or even noticed. you can quietly leave a gift, with a nice note and no name, without the need to be applauded. in your heart, you are loved. in your heart, you are enough.
just living with the fact that the singing of your heart joined in the singing of her/his heart, is simple and enough, and there we find harmony.