divorce doesn’t mean failure

i have quite a few friends who have decided to divorce – to part and go separate ways.  as i listen to the reasons, of course they all vary.  but the underlying sense of having failed seems to prevail.

but if you focus on all the good stuff that resulted from the marriage, you can experience a shift.  divorce doesn’t have to be about failure, it can be about change.  divorce, done in a loving way, with compassion for the other party and yourself, and forgiveness as a part of the lesson, divorce can be experienced as part of the next chapter, a new beginning if you will, and not as the end of the book that’s gone awry.

as two people grow and change, and if they do so at different rates, divorce becomes more understandable.  yes, god created humans to have individual wills, and in living our own wills, we realize we have choices.  if we see our choices aligning with the will of hearts, where we are closest to our creator, we see that it’s okay to walk away from the drama, the conflict, and begin loving ourselves.  in my case, i walked away from the drama, focused on improving myself, and made the choice to stay in the marriage. others make the choice to leave the marriage.  there is no right or wrong; if the choice is done through the heart and not the ego, there will be peace and kindness.

humans make mistakes, and there is no shame in making mistakes.  mistakes are an indication that you’re trying.  if you never tried in life, you would would never make a mistake.  so would you rather live a life of trying? and accept that there will be mistakes along the way; or live a life of never trying, never growing, never changing.

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