last night was my ‘no rules book club’ – a wonderful group of women, who share thoughts on books. i love it. i always walk away having learned something, and having connected with friends i haven’t seen in awhile. after last night’s meeting a few of us drifted off to local restaurant to continue our discussion on love and life.
as i sat there on the edge of tears, i tried to get in touch with what was causing me so much emotion. my heart was certainly experiencing joy, pain, love, all at the same time. i sat there listening, realizing just how much i wanted to grow in my relationships with these women….something i never had growing up. growing up, my books were my closest friends. i was so shy that i never had close friends. funny how that happens. my immigrant mother wasn’t one to go to pta meetings, or to meet other mothers and make arrangements for play dates. and i was so worried about trying to fit in, that i never really got to know myself, or what i liked because i was so busy being a chameleon.
no longer a chameleon, last night i found myself surrounded by women who inspire me, and who i know will be in my life for a long time… not because we might share the same hair dresser, jeweler, or feel the same about donald trump, but because we all have experienced loss in life – one had lost her husband, another her father, a mother, a son; yes, you may say, we all experience loss at some point in our lives, but these women were willing to share their emotions, to open up, and to find strength in being vulnerable, and perhaps most markedly, to have grown and found courage from their emotional pain.
i have friends i know at the ‘how ya doing’ level, and then i have other friends who i know at a much deeper, emotional level.
it is in that deeper level where i find my comfort, it is in that deeper place i find a connection, it is in that deeper place i find me.