riki, our second daughter, ren’s maid of honor, gave me a beautiful embroidered handkerchief to use during the wedding. it says “happy tears, R&E, 8.1.2015”. those words are the perfect description of what has been flowing from me for the past few weeks. as we sat around our simple table last night, with ten of ren’s dearest friends, sharing ‘ren memories’, i was so moved by the stories. i could have sat there all night, listening, laughing, crying; i didn’t want it to end.
ren’s god family flew in yesterday from boston, and her god sister, eve, and god mom, maggie, were with us. there’s a fifteen year gap between ren and eve, and what eve shared last night touched me to the core. she said, ‘i was too little to remember the details – it’s kinda cloudy, but i can tell you the feeling i had every time ren came to visit. i was always excited, happy and ready for fun… i always knew when ren came something wonderful was going to happen.’ what she shared so perfectly described what memories from the heart evoke.
it’s the feeling from the heart, and less so the details of the mind, that bring us together, that bring us closer; it’s the feelings that bond us, and leave us filled and trusting that there will be more, that transform the experience to be one that becomes part of of us and is not forgotten.
“we laugh so hard that we have to pee, and hug so hard that we want to fart”, is how riki described her relationship with her sister. and isn’t that what relationships are all about? when you can share to the point of no embarrassment, no judgement, no shame, just pure acceptance of who we are. these two sisters couldn’t be more different, and yet the two could not be any closer in the feelings they have for each other, the history they have in common and the acceptance of who each of them is.
maya angelou once said, “prepare yourself so you can be the rainbow in someone else’s cloud” , and as i sat there listening to the laughter, i knew that ren’s rainbow had touched many lives, and that it was only going to grow bigger and more brilliant in the years to come.