when we live through the heart, we don’t worry about what other’s think of us. our hearts relate, our hearts love, our hearts are kind, our hearts are understanding… if other’s choose to interpret our actions otherwise because they are not getting what they want, if they themselves are discontent. they will want to blame us for their discontent. we don’t take their actions, their words personally…we don’t let their actions or words hurt our egos because we know our truth, our intentions are from the heart. when we are in this situation of misunderstanding, we can accept that the other person has a different perspective, and that it isn’t up to us to try and change their perspective. their perspective is coming from a whole set of past experiences that result in how they respond to the world and to others.
i love this video that perfectly demonstrates a difference in perspective in dealing with the same reality- you poked my heart: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sKdDyyanGk
in loving others, we find no need to enter any other person’s mind. we don’t have to make assumptions or read into another person’s words. and we don’t feel then the need to defend or explain our actions.
if i know we are all coming from the heart, i find peace. i realize that some people are more aware and more connected to the heart than others. i practice patience when i am in the presence of someone who doesn’t understand my perspective or my intentions, but i don’t try and change the other’s perspective. instead i can practice listening and understanding where they are coming from.
if i turn the focus away from them, and onto myself, i experience peace.
what i’ve learned is that i must love myself first. and that happiness is not found on the outside.
someone once asked me, would i rather be by myself and happy, or with someone and miserable? if i can find the happiness within, then i can be with that same someone and be happy. but the discovery has to begin with me. if i don’t love myself first, i’m going to be unhappy with or without another. so often i observe people seeking partners thinking they will be happier, if only they could find someone who can make them happy. but if you don’t love yourself first, your quest will be never-ending. i must love myself first.
in loving someone who struggles with depression, i can dwell on his sadness, and his battle to do things, or i can choose to focus on working on my patience, practice my understanding and empathy, and when i do this, i suddenly find peace and happiness, and i find myself appreciating all his goodness, and noticing all his beautiy.